I Just Fired My Psychic

My weekly horoscope: You will be centered and at peace this week. Use this time to reflect and chart a new course in life. Reconnect with your true self.

Ever have one of those weeks . . . you know, one that makes you pine for the peacful and happier times of your unfortunate incarceration in an ultra maximum security prison for that silly little murder spree you went on . . . I'm in the middle of one right now!

I can't even embellish this story to make it better . . . it's already over the top -- Here's my week up to this point . . .

Monday --
While in the shower getting ready for my volunteer duties (shoot me now, b/c teaching 2 classes of third graders is NOT my idea of enjoyment) the gas company shuts my gas off. Oops! It was supposed to be the house 2 doors down (3212) and instead they did mine (3202). As I'm leaving for the day, I notice an orange tag on my door. Hmmm . . . so I think "Let me call them and inform them of their silly little mistake" . . . no big deal right? Gas company's response "we can have someone out there on Thursday . . . "

Now, as I've informed Thom (and others if you read my comments on his blog, link in the side bar) It takes a lot for me to hit bitch mode . . . this definitely got the engine warming up . . . After a rather tense but polite conversation, they will come turn my gas on Tuesday morning. No big deal since I've already showered and I can wait until Tues morning for my next shower.

The kids were well behaved, and the rest of the day was peaceful. No worries . . . . right?

Tuesday --
Gas man calls at 8:45am and informs me he can't come until noon, b/c he has a flat tire. WTF???? 3 hrs for a damn flat? I call the gas company to see if they could send another person out today since I'll can't wait until noon for the gas man due to volunteer (let's call it volun-told) activity. They say they can have someone out on Thursday . . . Wake me up before alarm + give me bad news + stupid excuse that doesn't make sense = FULL ON BITCH MODE!!!

After making several call center employees cry and contemplate suicide I finally get their manager on the phone. I explain to Sally Stupidbitch that unlike the customer who was supposed to have their gas shut off, I'm paying my bills . . . and therefore her salary. I then inform her that I'm not enthused about taking an ice cold shower (it was 37 degrees!) for 2 days. Finally, I informed her that if someone didn't appear by Wed morning (keep in mind it's 10 and I have to go do my voluntold activity now) that she would have one pissed off fag having a bad hair day in her lobby wanting blood and the sacrifice of everyone's first born child in the building to appease him. (You think that's a joke but it's a direct quote . . . they probably were recording my conversation at this point for training purposes, so I wanted to give 'em something to teach.) Gas man cometh Wednesday.

Head to voluntold activity and the brats were a bit rambunxious (sp?). Several times I had to tell the classes to listen, and the teachers in both classes had to help some of the problem kids share and work in their small groups.

Notice I haven't mentioned work yet . . .

Wednesday --
Gas man comes and is scared to even talk to me (love it when my reputation proceeds me). He was here exactly when I told them I wanted and the gas was turned back on. Things looking up, right?

The little hellians were out of control today. They barely kept their asses in the seats and several kids got into full blown yelling matches. Seven students recieved what are called "red cards" for poor behavior and 2 kids were put in time out at the principal's. I think someone slipped 'em something before I showed up. I got to the point several times where I just wanted to leave. So glad I'm voluntolding . . .

Get to work and have 2 meetings that were fairly productive. Things are rolling right along UNTIL I get a call from a supervisor in another department. True story --> 2 days ago she got bit by her cat. While the wound swelled up and appeared to be infected, she thought no big deal. Now, she has red streaks down her forearm to her elbow radiating from the wound, and she can't feel her arm. Her hand is throbbing in pain and so swollen she can't wear a watch. She goes to the hospital and guess who is now covering her department??

We also suddenly discover that the person in charge of ordering supplies for our department kinda of forgot to do it last weekend, and we're now out of stuff in my department. So, my dept. can't perform their jobs, and I have no clue what was supposed to be going on in the other dept. Then I get a call from this supervisor (she's okay so I can be mad about it now) saying she can't work the rest of the week, and I need to cover her dept per her boss. REALLY??? Smal problem -- who the F is gonna cover mine???

So, after handling the supply fiasco so something can happen for the rest of the week in my dept, figuring out what the hell happened in another dept and communicating that to the day shift, cancelling my voluntold activities for the rest of the week due to coverage issues at work (okay, that was a positive), it's now 4am and I've been up since 9am . . . time to go home!

Thursday --
About to get in the shower . . . can't wait to see the excitement today as everything continues to build . . .

Now hiring: Psychic