Monday, November 30, 2009

My Weightloss Sistas

How about this for some bravery -- that is my current weight as of 11/29/2009 just after noon. Most people might not be excited that their weight is just a smidge under 330, but honey -- I am. I'm down 135 lbs . . . and that ab routine I started a few weeks ago -- yeah, it's working!
However -- this isn't a post about my weightloss journey, but how our journey is going. See -- I thought I was all alone on this weight loss thing. No one around that would really get - or understand the struggles. Who could relate to wanting "one more chip at 3am" or "two more pizza slices are fine -- who cares if it finished the large pizza??" I was ready to roll my sleeves up and fight this all by myself.
That's when God reminded me that I'm not alone. Not by a LONG shot. Not only is he with me on this trek, but two of the sweetest ladies I know have confided in me (and others) that they are on this journey too. I do believe he brought us together - for support and encouragement. It's so much easier knowing that someone you know totally gets it. They understand the struggles -- truly understand it all. They know the satisfaction in walking past a plate of cookies -- and how unbelievably difficult that task actually is.
So Cindy & Annette -- this is for you . . . (and me too) . . . I'm so proud of my Weight Loss Sistas!!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Being Cold, Overpriced Coffee, and Being Thankful

As this holiday season fast approaches, everyone comes up with a list of what they are thankful. Not being one to buck tradition (you can stop laughing now) -- I'd like to give you my list of things I am thankful for, in no particular order . . .
1. I am thankful for getting cold.
Getting cold?? Why on earth would I be thankful for that?? Well simply put, I've NEVER been someone that got cold. I was always hot, sweating, and out of breath. Now, after everything this year and going into this winter -- I get cold!! I have to wear long sleeves and coats and everything!! Who knew?? Losing 129 lbs will do that to ya ;)
2. I am thankful for not being able to get enough sleep.
Really . . . I am completely excited about this. In a nutshell -- I've spent so many years of my life passing me by that I want to make up for living. Who has time to sleep?? Don't get me wrong, there are days when a girl needs her rest -- but those days have become few and far between. I absolutely love going to school, having a steady job (and therefore income), and all the friends I have. I don't want to sleep my time away with all this going on around me. Besides . . . that's what STARBUCKS is for . . . right??
3. I am thankful because I have to pay bills.
Picking up on the theme yet -- complaints are also reasons why we are happy. It's all on how you look at it. Who doesn't hate paying the mortgage, car note, credit card bill, etc? However, consider this outlook . . . if you have these bills to pay then you have a car, a home, probably some nice things, and a few bucks left over for some nice things. Yeah -- paying bills is a good thing!
4. I am thankful for Overpriced Coffee.
So I thought about what kind of category this would end up being, and this is what popped up. I enjoy studying, visiting, looking at the cute guys at Starbucks. I've quickly become a regular, as the staff knows my name and what I want (usually a carmel light frappucino, but lately totally into the peppermint mocha light frappucino). Plus it's the perfect setting for a great conversation with my bff . . . Creepy Manager Guy was going to be the other choice for this one since Gracie and I are total regulars at Panera as well.
5. I am thankful for texting.
Admit it -- those of you with iPhones are totally in love with it! It turned an anti-Apple guy into a total softy for iPhone. So I love my iPhone, but more importantly I love the people that text/call/email me on it on a regular basis. Every person in my contact list has had some effect on my life, and I am grateful for that impact they've had. People are not static, we are always changing. And one major way that everyone has an impact on me is through my phone. Even CrackBook is an iPhone App!
So hopefully this little list of mine finds you in good humor, good health, but most importantly, good times. God Bless you, your family & your friends. Those of you travelling for Turkey Day, be safe!! And think about all that gets on your nerves, and you just might find what you are truly thankful for . . . :)

Monday, November 16, 2009

Just a Fear

Not really sure what to say, what to type. I've been frustrated for a week and the only thing I know how to do is type it out -- so to speak.

I hate being alone. I can find 47 million reasons why I should be alone, but I still don't like it. Things like - no time b/c of school, need to save $, work is crazy right now, you want to move back to Texas, blah blah blah . . . I sure can talk myself into misery.

Please, as you're reading this, don't send the "just relax" or "you'll find it when you're not looking" or "you're a great guy" comment . . . I appreciate it but it doesn't help. I'm 34, and my biggest fear is that I'm always going to be alone. Yet, for some reason, I do nothing to change it. It's my paradox, my dichotomy, my whatever you'd like to stick in this blank ____________. It's rather frustrating.

I even know the problem -- rejection. Yes, kids -- it's an intense fear of rejection. (And yes, I know where it comes from, why it's irrational, and why it's a roadblock) I just feel like I'm gonna end up sitting on my front porch with a blanket and watching the rest of my life pass by.

I feel like I'm screaming as loud as I can and the silence is deafening . . . just wanting someone to answer back . . . someone that is interested in me.

Forgive my insecure moment . . . back to your regular blog reading.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Liberty and Justice for All*

Welcome to America, where you will have liberty and justice for all*
(* unless you're homosexual)
Okay, so I am a bit upset about the rash of same sex marriage defeats over the past several years, including the horrid Federal Defense of Marriage Act . . .

I think what pisses me off the most is that my civil rights are being put to a vote -- and yes, I said civil rights. For those in the mood to argue about what civil rights are, let me put that arguement to rest right now -- civil rights as defined by is "rights to personal liberty established by the 13th and 14th amendments to the US Constitution and certain Congressional acts, esp. as applied to an individual or minority group."

The whole reason we have civil rights is that the majority in any nation (not just ours) have the tendency to want to marginalize the minority. That minority over the years has been defined by many different aspects -- be it race, country of origin, religious faith, gender, and sexuality. In order to ensure equal rights among all, our nation, while begrudgenly, has enacted statutes and laws to ensure that the minority, however it is defined, has the same chance at happiness and fullfillment as all others . . . until now. Now, for some unknown reason, we have decided the way to decide civil rights issues is to put it to a vote . . .

So - to all those that see nothing wrong with allowing civil rights issues to be put to a vote, I offer this question and list of answers . . . How would our nation be different if we allowed civil rights issues to be put to a popular vote?

  • Seperate but Equal statutes would be in effect -- there'd still be whites only and colored only places in America, and as evidenced by the pictures of that time, the whites would have an advantage b/c typically those facilities were much better

  • Education would only go to white men -- before Title 9 and other Equal Opportunity statutes were passed -- most minority classes (i.e. Blacks, Hispanics, Women) were not afforded the same chances at scholarships, team participation in sports, or even admittance to the top universities and colleges in the nation.

  • Right to Vote would only reside with White Men -- Blacks didn't gain the right to vote until after slavery was abolished (by statute, not a vote) and women didn't gain sufferage until the 1920 . . .

  • Blacks would not be allowed into the military, nor women

  • In all likelihood, several states would probably still have laws allowing for legal slavery and women would be treated as property

  • Polygamy would still be legal in Utah

Just think of the depravity of our society if we would have allowed voters to decide the rights of the minorities. We would have missed out on leaders that have directed our nation and industries. You don't even have to look very far to find leaders of minorities that have had an impact on us, Dorthea Dix, Susan B. Anthony, George Washington Carver, the Tuskeegee Airmen, Gen. Colin Powell, Condeleeza Rice, Janet Reno, President Barack Obama, Sec. of State Hillary Clinton to name the most recent . . . Whether you agree or support them in their endeavors, you can't deny the influence they've had on our country. None of them would have had the chance if we voted on it.

I'm not for the abolition of voting rights, or that I know all, but rather to understand our history and how we, as all other societies, have had the tendency to oppress others in the minority. Why, at this time of our existence, with the history our nation already has built, would we suddenly choose to trust the masses in regards to a question about oppression? Where are the leaders in our country to stand up and fight with us? Every member of the NAACP, NOW, LULAC, the Islamic and Jewish communities (among others), should be standing beside us - acknowledging that our rights have been denied.

The problem I guess, is that now that they are part of the accepted majority, there's just not many left to stand with us . . . sad that they have forgotten what it's like to be denied the opportunity just because of who you are.

So -- I have one thing to say in closing -- I'm here, I'm queer, get over your fear. Because it is -- at it's core -- an irrational fear that is preventing the legalization of same sex marriage.

(Notice I didn't even point out the weakness in the "sanctity of marriage" arguement by discussing common law marriage and how hypocritical that arguement really is . . . oh wait, just did)