|My computer!! Sort of :)|
That’s right kiddos – online dating is out there. You’ve seen the ads, from eHarmony, match.com, cupid.com, plentyofish.com (thx Gaga & Brit!), etc., etc. There’s even iPhone apps for it (Grindr for those that know) among others. So yes skittles, I have adventured into the world of online dating. It is 2011, and lets face it kids, there’s not a whole lot of options in Top City – but there really should be a translation book out there.
There’s just some real silliness posted out there online – so I thought I’d let you in on some of the stuff that makes me giggle or even outright laugh:
• The bare chest profile pic with phone/camera obstructing the face
Decoded: I’m not out of the closet. No relationship here, just – well – you know
• Same above, with the statement “Not looking to hookup”
Decoded: Yes you are
• Description of traits of an ideal guy that end with “Step to the front of the line”
Decoded: I’m desperate; I’ll go out with anyone. And I’ll trade up the first chance I get. How vain are you to think there is a line of men waiting to date you? (And seriously – if there was actually a line would they be online??)
• Statement says “Your place only”
Decoded: I’m married/partnered and my wife/partner doesn’t know I’m cheating. Don’t tell!
• Ending a profile description that says “I don’t do drama!”
Decoded: Yes, you do. How would you know what drama is without doing it, and I’m guessing you are the main cause of said “drama” and therefore do “drama” a lot
• Having the terms “hot,” “sexy,” or “stud” in your signin
Decoded: I’m more into me than I am to you. And I know it too. Narcissism at its finest lol.
• Saying you are “discrete”
Decoded: You really mean “creepy” – you don’t want anyone to know what you are up to and that just makes me shiver
• And the one that makes me laugh the most – “Be masculine. I only like real men.”
Decoded: Hahahahaha – Are there really desperate women posing as gay men?
Good luck my fellow singles, straight, gay, lesbian, or bi – it’s a tough world out there!