Think About It!

I don't want to sound preachy or better than -- but I'm a bit perturbed at what I refer to as "my people's" reaction to the Target donation.  And I mean to me personally.  Yes, I sit on two sides of this fence, being a gay man and working for Target for almost 12 years.  Here's the deal . . . (and to clarify, I'm speaking for ME not for the company I work for. . .)

Target gave a donation to a PAC called Minnesota Forward.  This particular PAC's (that's political action committee) main goal is to create economic growth and jobs in Minnesota.  However, after Target's (and Best Buy's donation too) - they purchased some ads for a very conservative gubenatorial candidate Tom Emmer who believes marriage should ONLY be between one man and one woman.  OOPS!

Basically, Target gave money based on economic policy, and didn't look into social policy.  So did Best Buy . . . Yeah - it was a HUGE oversight on their parts.  And I believe the HRC has done a great job at pointing this out to them and challenging them to right the situation.  What I'm frustrated with is how some people have sent ME messages and emails asking how I could work for such an anti-gay company . . . Are you fking kidding???  Target anti-gay?? 

Target offers same sex couple benefits -- even in states where marriages and civil unions are not allowed (yeah -- that's most of them).  They have a GLBT leadership group that helps GLBT team members connect professionally and help them succeed in their careers.  You can not, under any circumstances, discriminate based on all the usual stuff AND sexual orientation and gender orientation.  That's not a law that they have to add that -- it's just who Target is.  Every June (aka GLBT month) they send out corporate wide communication about the month and are a major sponsor of Minnapolis' Gay Pride.

The point is -- I DON'T WORK FOR AN ANTI-GAY COMPANY!  I WORK FOR ONE OF THE MOST PRO-GAY COMPANIES AROUND!!!  So stop with the messages and challenges.  Be a critical thinker -- and just chill.  Those of you that are hell bent on challenging me about working for Target, I've got one thing to say -- Get up out my face!

Bring on Year Two

Year one is officially in the books. Year two is off to a bang – how quickly things roll by. You turn around and just the amount of change that can take place in a life is sometimes a bit overwhelming. There are many theories out there about personality and such, and I won’t delve into them now – mainly b/c I’m not versed enough yet – but there is one that talks about every 10 years or so you have a transition in your life, and that transition can be quite big.

Welcome to my transition . . .

The quick, and obvious changes, are of course the external. In one year I’ve lost 165 pounds. I had a goal of getting under 300 by 2/26, and was off just by two days. Two days into my second year, the scale read 299. Next goal is 250 by August – that’s 49 pounds. I’m in a wedding out in San Diego and it’d be cool to be that small by the time the pics are taken. My health is in a good transition.

Also external – my career. For over 10 years, I’ve been an executive at Target working in their Distribution Centers. I’ve loved it – great company, better people, and they really take care of ya. However, it’s no longer my calling. My passion is to help people – maybe through their transitions – who knows. What I do know is that studying for psychology, although challenging at times, has been to date rather rewarding as well. I’ve learned more about myself and human interactions than I thought I would up to this point. The challenge has been daunting this semester – Taking half of a course load and working full time. But the bottom line is that I’m going to transition my career . . . another good transition.

Now one that’s not so obvious – unless you really, really know me. I’ve opened my heart, and am taking a risk. I’ve fallen for someone. I took down my walls and let someone in. I’m so scared about it, but am loving every minute of it. The polar opposites of emotion can sometimes be overwhelming – but that dichotomy of feeling by experiencing all that it has to offer has truly touched my soul. I’m not going to be so scared to love that I don’t ever try – I’ve got to Make It Happen if it’s going to. God only provides the opportunity, you have to walk through and seize the chance. We are learning together, how to take the walls down and trust each other. Yeah, my emotional health is in transition . . . for the better.

So, year one changed a lot, and it looks like Bob’s (or my lab band) second year is going to be just as full of twists and turns. Kinda like the rollercoasters that a certain someone and I are going to ride this summer . . . hold on tight kids – it’s going to be one helluva ride!

Oh – and the boa?? Yeah, I had to wear it to my surprise celebration my bff Gracie and Eric through for me . . . yeah it was a freaking BLAST!!

A lot goin' on . . .

Funny how things are grouped together even when you don't plan it. Makes you busy, busy, busy. Main difference for me this time around is that I'm enjoying the heck out of almost everything! As I try to hydrate for tomorrow, here's some brief updates to catch y'all up . . .

Memory Walk 2009 is tomorrow.

I'm excited to do it -- and am truly thankful to everyone that donated to help me crush my fund raising goal! I raised $350 to help fight Alzheimer's!! Tomorrow should be nice so can't wait to do the three mile trek.

School is going fantastically. I was worried about starting back again and how it would all go, but it's been such an awesome experience. I approach college this time around in a different way, more like a job for lack of a better analogy -- and half way thru my first course I've got an A!

Work is work . . . blah!

I've lost 72 lbs!!! I have a doctor's appointment for my next fill for my band, and it's time to get one. Over the past 2 weeks, I've been quite hungry and have eaten more than I have been in the past. So - that means it's time to get my band adjusted. I've had 2 adjustments, and I'm supposed to have 3 to 6 fills to get the band in the right spot, so it's time.

Going back home in August to see my Dad show the Gran Torino he restored at a car show in Ft. Worth. I haven't been back since my surgery so I'm excited to see them and show them my results.

And finally . . . I caved. I got an iPhone today . . . and YES as much as I am LOATHED to admit it - I love it.

Well -- that's pretty much it for now I think . . . so wish me luck tomorrow!

Random with your Cheerios

Not sure where this unintended stream of consciousness is going to lead, but it's 5am and I can't go back to sleep -- so I guess I'm going to amuse/punish y'all with the random bits floating around in my head. I equate those random bits to the last few Cheerios floating in the milk. They run away from your spoon and it becomes your life's mission to get them all . . . you don't know why but it does. (Don't ask me what that has to do with anything . . . )

So, let's start with the picture -- that is the new stadium of the Dallas Cowboys. It's a huge monstrous building in the middle of Arlington, TX, which is ironically closer to Ft. Worth than Dallas. In fact, it's no longer even in Dallas County (which is where they used to play). It's a mammoth of an over compensation for Jerry Jones. I call the structure Jerry's Ego . . .

Isn't it odd that while the economy was humming along (I know Claire, I used the phrase) that all the financial pundits complained that we weren't saving enough. Now, the saving rate among American's is at it's highest since the 1930's (re: depression) and they are all mad b/c the consumer isn't spending?? Seems to me the American consumer (re: me) is just a bit tired of blowing all his/her money and is taking a breathe. I say keep saving and being fiscally responsible -- let the house of cards continue to fall until we get back on some stable footing again . . . (and keep in mind I'm not a saver naturally, i'm a shopper!)

Whatever happened to Toni Braxton?? I loved some of her songs ("Another Sad Love Song" "I Don't Want To" and "Unbreak my Heart") and then nothing . . . She had such a sultry voice. Had the Zune on random and it just played her -- seems I'm not the only thing that's random right now :)

Why is American Idol (or for that matter any of the competition shows) classified as reality tv? It's not. Not by a long shot -- it's really just a different version of a game show. Whether it's racing across the globe in Amazing Race or stabbing someone in the back on Surivor (seriously?? that show is still on??) it's all a big game. If those shows are reality then am I on tv??

I love being the person at work that will speak his mind. It doesn't do a lot for moving up the ladder, but I like the rung I'm on at work anyway. It's kind of entertaining to watch the fear that some people have in their faces when I speak -- like what am I gonna say?? I don't do it on purpose, I just am honest. Sometimes honesty scares people -- and that makes me wonder why business leaders are so scared of honesty. I mean - isn't that one of the reasons that the e-thing is such a mess?? Because of dishonesty . . . kind of ironic isn't it??

Why do I always title my blog and then when I'm done, go back and change it?? Am I the only one that does this?? (btw - I called it Daily Dose of Random before I got on the Cheerios kick)

Grace and I should have had a film crew following us around while doing her wedding stuff. It just seems like craziness ensues wherever we go -- and it's not our doing. It just follows us around . . . like a lost puppy . . . lookin' for Cheerios in milk . . .

Bizzie Bizzie Bizzie

Hey everyone!!! I am sooooooooooo behind in catching up on everyone's blog entries. I have been such a bad blogger friend . . . please forgive me!! I want to catch everyone up on what I've been up to, so here it goes:

The wedding/dj thing was an absolute blast! I haven't seen the pictures yet, but everyone said they loved the music and had a ton of fun. Plus, the groom told me that techno reminds him of strip clubs . . . which was a truly entertaining conversation in itself. It was really neat to be a part of someone's future like that. I'm very glad I did it . . .

I've been trying to cram my head full of web page building knowledge as of late. I've been asked to put together some web pages for some clients (yes, I have clients!!) and I don't know much about the web . . . soooooo I've been dabbling in it. I got an extremely powerful web page builder (Adobe Dreamweaver) and have really had fun learning some html, css stuff, and flash videos. You can see my own personal dabbles at MY new web page -- www.joejoesdesigns.com! What's really cool is that I have my own email too . . . joejoe@joejoesdesigns.com . . . I know, not a big deal to some but pretty damn cool to me! It's still under construction - but the hope is to have samples of designs and images for clients. It's basically a digital portfolio if you will. No, I'm not moving my blog or anything crazy like that . . . just taking the next step in my design dream. As I told one of my friends at work, the worst that happens is that I make a few bucks in a hobby that I enjoy - and the best is that I live out a dream of being an artist/designer type person . . .

Speaking of work . . . it's been really hectic. I actually just finished working the weekend day shift (as most of you know, I usually work week day nights) so I'm a bit out of sorts . . . but I don't have to go to work until Friday so that will all even out . . .

I hope to get around and visit everyone's pages . . . in the next day or so -- so take care until then! Much love . . .

Am I THAT guy??

Wow, I am just uber-yuppie today! Here I am, having a mint chocolate frappucino at starbucks(side note -- 2 die 4) working wirelessly on my laptop (finished and emailed a presentation to work) and coordinating a chat/gossip session on my phone with gal pal Gracie. The only thing better would be if I was actually dressed in all black and in Seattle. Did I mention I now have a canvas "messenger bag" (aka my murse)?

Damn, when did this happen?? When did I become so techie? My redneck card has just been revoked . . . and now I'm worried I might lose my accent! Ugh! The horror! I'm too fond of the word y'all and love everything deep fried -- I can't lose my roots now!

Sheesh . . . I have no idea what I'm gonna do about all this business. Who knew that I'd become so uppity in of all places Topeka-f'n-Kansas . . . hmmmmm . . .

Well - not much going on today. I did get a free day off (hence the blog from Starbucks) b/c yours truly has a presentation to give tomorrow morning to the regional VP that's coming in from HQ (it pays to work nights). ICK! I hate dress up and politics . . . but hey -- it pays the bills. Let's just hope I don't sleep thru the alarm -- that would be bad! ;)

Well -- I'm gonna get off of here before I suddenly decide to change my name to Thad, give up driving to save the environment, and vote for whomever the Green Party candidate is as a protest. (I shudder to even think of it). Take care all!

Joe Joe's very own Goblet of Fire

So, there are so many reasons that I love where I work. One of them is the time we spend working on becoming better leaders not just for the people that work for us, but for each of my peers as well. We are expected to always strive to be the best leaders we can be. You don't know how awesome it is to work for a major corporation that puts one of it's footholds in treating people with dignity and respect. In all honesty, it's why I still work there after 8 years (among other things).

So, today, we were having what's called a "developmental learning group." This is a group of execs that are discussing their opportunities (i.e. like for me, listening to others - I tend to interrupt, staying focused, being comfortable without knowing everything) and your strenghts (i.e. building teams people want to be on, connecting my team to the business as a whole, rebuilding struggling teams). {Go with me here, I'm gettin' to the point!}

We were doing an exercise where we pass a cup full of random questions around the group, you draw one, and answer it. It has questions ranging from "What's your most embarrassing moment at work?" to "If you could meet someone famous, who would it be and why?". So, the cup comes to me and I draw -- "What makes you most uncomfortable at work?" I know this answer immediately, but I don't want to share it. I don't want to tell anyone what makes me most uncomfortable . . . because it's also deeply personal. Even now, I'm still so protective of who I really am. I know this is because of two things, the fear of rejection and the fear of ridicule. Silly I know, but very true.

Being the cut up I am, everyone is expecting a smart ass comment or something dripping with sarcasm, and instead I take a deep breathe and really tell them -- "I am most uncomfortable at work telling people about my personal life. I only let people in so far, and then I try to divert attention. I need to work on this, and I know it. I need to let people know that if I don't want to share it, then I don't. Not just change the subject."

The room kinda went really quiet. Everyone looked at me for that uncomfortable minute, and I saw a few people nodding. It's true, I don't open up at work. I don't talk about who I am and what interests me outside of work. I'm very scared of sharing ~ mostly again because I'm afraid of the response I might get. We'll see how this new road opens up ~ because if I'm uncomfortable doing it, then I am growing.

Somehow, I feel the game of 20 questions is about to start . . .

I'm going to use and age old technique . . . Deflection

I have shown UNBELIEVABLE restraint on not posting or commenting on this picture. But I'm going to deflect now . . . and blame Thom (see his Ewww . . . posting) for letting this dark evil side of my personality out. (For those taking notes -- this is the ancient art of deflection. Trying to divert attention to someone else so they forget what you did.)

So, being from the country (and I ought to spell that kuntree based on where I'm from) anytime I go to a major city, I love it. Being the avid people watcher, having my attention diverted at any given moment, and having no control over my mouth in certain social situations, I'm pretty much gonna see and comment on anything I see. So, while snapping pictures of random people I work with playing in a fountain in downtown Kansas City, Ms. Hot Mess walks up.

I can't control myself. I'm not as good at self control as Thom. My mouth is moving drawing attention to this situation before that filter kicks in and stops me from sharing what I'm seeing. I really should see a specialist about it . . . it can be quite embarrassing . . .

This is how the scene plays out --

"Smile everyone!" goes the camera facing the fountain

"Oh, you want in the picture. Okay go ahead get in there." goes the camera facing the fountain

"Ok, now I want ----- oh no she is not -- oh hell no --" goes the camera facing to the left of the fountain, I'm still facing forward -- goes the camera facing the fountain taking a random picture so it appears I haven't really noticed her.

My coworker Alison (who knows my lack of tact and that I'm usually funny) begins to dart around and exclaim "What Joe?? What??"

"I'll show you in a minute . . . act casual"

I did. I couldn't pass up the moment to actually take this picture and share it. Yes, it's a train wreck, and yes, it's highly inappropriate. And it is also a bit sad . . . my heart goes out to her in that she feels this is her only option in life. But in the end it's also comedic (tragic, but still comedic). It was really funny . . . and I did black out the face so only the person actually wearing the outfit and working that street corner (or her pimp) will know for sure . . .

Oh, and Darin . . . yes I did actually post this!