Rules of Engagement

I might be a bit judgmental, but I just think it's important to actually be employed - or working on gainful employment, when looking for a mate. It's kind of scary when you go out with someone that doesn't work - and isn't planning on getting a job in the near future.

Then there's the right and wrong things to say when courting someone. You shouldn't comment on less than flattering features of your prospective partner. It's not the wisest idea to actually point out a flabby chest or a bit of belly fat. Kinda kills the mood . . .

And definitely ask questions if someone says something that you don't understand. Never just assume you know what the other person is talking about or that you will figure it out later. Topics have a funny way of rearing their ugly head again and forcing you at some point to actually admit you have no clue what's being discussed, and therefore looking more like an idiot.

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever under any circumstances whatsoever profess to be in love with the person on the first date. Even if you've known each other for years and years, it comes across as hokey and reeking of desperation. Kinda ruins the joy of the pursuit.

On the first arranged meeting, don't bring your two hags, gossip and talk amongst yourself, giggle uncontrollably, and then leave within 15 min of arrival. Well, you can, but don't ask if the other person likes you -- if you can't stick around to find out it's probably not worth finding out the answer.

Refrain from asking what names the kids are going to have that you both will be adopting on the first date. Not the best time to suggest building a family and home with someone when you are just getting to know each other.

Everyone knows it's all about putting your best foot forward - but make sure it's actually a good foot. No one likes a know-it-all, and everyone hates an idiot. It's better to be comfortable with yourself, flaws and all, then to try and mask it behind feigned intelligence.

I don't think this is asking too much . . . is it?

Three Weeks After: Fill 'er up!

Okay, so I didn't know this before - but when they put the band on, they don't fill it up. See -- there is this little issue with your gastrointestinal tract (like that Claire??) that when they mess with it, it swells. So, they have to wait three to four weeks for the swelling to subside so they can fill the band up.

So - I go to my first fill appt with several other people, and of course, the first step is to get weighed. Hmmmm, I'm not real excited about this, because between the surgery and now, I've been eating more and more, and the past week I've almost eaten regular size meals, which is NOT supposed to happen. I was a bit stressed out about the scale, and the scale confirmed my stress. I'd only lost an additional 3 lbs since my last weigh in . . .

Now, I'm thinking something major is wrong, like my band has slipped or it's not small enough - and after I sit down and we start talking, I find out everyone else has had the same experience as me. Then the nurse sits down with a big ol' grin and says "Y'all probably have eaten a lot more this week than the past few weeks huh?" She goes on to explain that means our swelling has gone down and they can go ahead and do the fill. I was like -- why in the HELL didn't you tell me before. I've been all stressed about it. (I didn't say that, I was much nicer in my delivery.)

I was much relieved after that. To get a fill, you have to get up on an xray bed that's literally like 3 feet off the ground, they had steps thank goodness! They use a flouroscope to locate the port valve under the skin, and they close it off completely. Then, you drink a little barium, and the doc slowly draws back the saline solution from the port until the barium trickles through. Ta-dah! I now have a small pouch of a stomach that holds about a half cup of chewed food. Might not seem like a lot, but then again that IS the point. My band holds up to 14cc's (when it's closed off), and I have 6 cc's in me :)

Now - they said it would take 3 to 6 fills to get the band at the right spot, but I'm not so sure about that. Mine, for the moment, is working rather well. I know this because if I don't follow what to eat when, it doesn't work out. The hardest thing to change in this journey is my behaviors around food. I've learned several times over NOT to eat too much, but I sometimes still do. It's weird because my mind tells me I should eat and I'm hungry, but I'm really not. I'm playing mind games with myself (and you thought there was only one way to do that, huh?).

Learning some new rules and restrictions - like no fried potatoes (that one hurts pretty bad!), fastfood is not good at all, chew at least 20 times before swallowing (shut up Nilla!), and don't drink until 60 min after you've eaten. It's all a bit challenging, but worth every minute. Even when I'm "learning" not to break the rules.

I feel so much more energetic than I have in years -- literally! Although the weight has primarily come off of my face, hands, and feet -- It's a start! I am proud to share that I no longer have cankles!! Well -- that's all for now. 23 pounds in 3 weeks is pretty sweet -- dontcha think? Now - must find a doctor in Topeka to do my fills so I don't have to go back to DFW every month . . .