I'm Over Skulls

So over the skull shirts, but
he is a completely different story

Okay, so I love fashion, right?  I mean, what gay guy doesn't??  My best friend loves it so much that she's turned into a pseudo-celebrity with her very own style blog (Click to read her style blog).  I love clothes shopping . . . so you get it.  Guy on the go, loves to shop, his bff is a style guru . . .

So I feel that I'm somewhat qualified to make the following statement -- enough with the human skulls on everything design motif.  I'm just kinda over the macabre designs.  It's only so long that you can beat me up side the head with skulls before I just think it must be halloween stuff on sale or something . . .

Don't get me wrong . . . I have a pair of Ed Hardy sneaks (with skulls on them of course), and a blinged out shirt with I kid you not -- a silver shiny bedazzled skull on it.  It's not that it's bad, but it's just being put on EVERYTHING and it kinda kills off the novelty.  Not every piece of clothing should have a reference to a skull.  I even saw a shirt at Baby Gap with skulls all over it . . . y'all . . . that is NOT appropriate wear for a baby or toddler!  A baby boy should be wearing something with trucks, footballs, or surfing on it . . . (well if it was my baby boy he'd be in a solid v-neck tee and plaid shorts . . . just sayin)

It just is starting to seem weird to me to wear a bunch of clothing with ornately decorated skulls on it.  I feel the skull should be more of an accent, not a center piece (unless I feel like wearing my bedazzled skull shirt, that is).

So, officially speaking -- I'm over skulls.  Thank goodness the fall lines coming out are incorporating stripes, argyles, and solids . . . a return to preppy patterns is definitely NOT a bad thing in my book . . . Just so ya know . . .

Gym, Lunch, Tears, Scarves

I realized I haven't actually just randomly "journaled" in awhile, and really thought today would be a nice day to do so . . .

The day started with Ragan trying to push me off the bed at 10:00am probably b/c either he needed to go outside, or he hid a chewie under my pillow and now couldn't get to it. I woke up and promptly cuddled with the pooch for a bit (he's a bit needy) and then headed to the gym. Today was just a light cardio day - and today's first great event happened . . . I fell off the plateau!!! My body is starting to lose weight again . . . two pounds this week for a total of 96. That's freaking AWESOME!!!

So then, all showered, cologned, and nervous . . . I go on a date. (No - it is NOT the guy that was the DFH from a few weeks ago) We went to HuHot and had a great time, good lunch, and just all in all good visit. He's quite the charmer and has a nice smile . . . but that's all you get for now. Gonna keep the rest secret cuz I don't wanna jinx it. (If you're keeping count - that's great event #2 for the day)

I decide after lunch that I need to go check out the big boy clothing store b/c it's clearance time and they usually have a shirt or two that I like to buy for pretty cheap. PLUS . . . everyone is riding me to get a smaller size shirt b/c all my clothes are 2 sizes to big now. I go and hit up the size down from what I had on. (I started at a 6x, was wearing a 5x, and was happy that the 4x's were fitting). So, I find a really cute one on the rack (gonna wear it on my date this weekend!) and then the sales lady is like -- Joe, you can wear a size smaller than that!

I don't really think I can . . . but she insists and so I grab a 3x and head back into the dressing room. Side note -- (and this is kind of important) -- I have been struggling to actually SEE the weight loss change. I see myself everyday - and the baggy clothes don't help (cuz I still see what's underneath) - so it's where I struggle. It's common among those with rapid weight loss b/c the mind doesn't quite grasp the changes as quickly as they are actually happening.

Sooooooo, I try on the shirt and then step out and look in the mirror. And I cry. Just a little but they were DEFINITELY tears of joy. It fit . . . and for the first time I could actually SEE how much weight I had lost on my body. I really wasn't ready to see that, but then not sure if you ever really are, but it was a bit overwhelming. This definitely ranks as great event #3.

In celebration of a rather glorious day . . . I go to Target and buy some scarves - from the mens section (Gracie!!) . . . so all in all - today was fantastic and I am quite content. Haven't had many great days like today so gonna just enjoy it for awhile . . .

(oh, and I'm off work tonight AND tomorrow night!!!)

Return of the Guru

Alright my skittles . . . The Fashion Guru is baaaaack! It is time for me to impart some extremely importante information regarding certain fashion choices that have been working my last nerve. I am tired of walking around in all my fabulosity and having to be bombarded with some rather . . . well, disturbing selections that some of the less fortunate are making. Since my journeys have made me almost other-worldly, I'd like to impart my fashion wisdom. So today, there are 3 simple rules that I'd like everyone to follow for the rest of the summer.

Rule #1 - Read Instructions ~ Read instructions?? Yes dearies . . . if you were not aware many of today's ensembles come WITH INSTRUCTIONS! If you will just read the item's instructions you will not make a poor choice. Need an example?? Take "skinny jeans." This is such an easy instruction to follow - they are telling you if you are skinny, these are your jeans. If you are NOT SKINNY, these ARE NOT your jeans. It's just that easy! And skinny isn't if you line up all of your relatives at the Southern Deep Fried convention and you happen to be the smallest fatty that you are then skinny . . . skinny is NOT relative. Other examples -- mom jeans (jeans for mom), fitted tees (if they don't fit . . .), undershirts (rednecks - this means to wear 'under' another shirt - or to make it easier to understand you will end up wearing as many shirts as you have teeth). See?? That was easy.

Rule #2 - Ensure contents don't shift during travel ~ or in other words . . . wear undergarments! Ladies -- unless you are 24 with super perky boobs, you need to support your girls with some type of bra . . . any bra . . . seriously. Try the pencil test . . . If you can stick a pencil under your boob, and it stays, you need support. Gravity is the devil - and after nursing 3 children and gaining 40 lbs, you should not under ANY circumstances allow you girls to EVER be free . . . I'm not sure I'd even recommend them to be free EVER, but at least in public keep them contained. The last thing anyone wants to see is a couple of droopy orangutan boobies bouncin under some light cottony fabric. It's enough to make anyone wanna hurl.

Rule #3 - Also known as JJ's Golden Rule of Fashion - Just because it's your size does NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD WEAR IT!!! ~ Low rise jeans aren't meant to be warn by a size 24 women or 40" waisted man . . . they are just not! There is nothing sexy or alluring about someone that is wearing a pair of jeans that doesn't cover back fat or muffin top. NOTHING! Since you are not hot, (trust me, your not) your fashion choices should create the illusion that in a really dark bar with several drinks, you might be "cute". And if you are wearing something you shouldn't, it won't work.

Please, if you are one of the few gifted souls like me, help me help the fashionably challenged, or as I call them the FT's (Fashion-Tards), pass these rules along. It can only make the world a more beautiful place . . .

The Best $7

Okay, so I'm going to stereo type myself here for a minute. I'm by no means a fem guy . . . but I do have a good idea for color, fashion, and the like. So, I encouraged one of my gals to take advantage of her straight girl gay man relationship this weekend. One of my girl pals shared with me that her family was criticizing her makeup choices. She felt very self conscious. Well, I asked . . . who was harping on it? She said primarily her brother. I asked if he was gay, and she said no. I looked straight at her and said that he was telling you what he likes to see on a woman, not what was good for her. She thought for a moment, and agreed that I was right. He does tend to like tan women who make themselves up.

Now ~ this woman has a beautiful, classic look about her. She has long, dark brown hair (almost black), fair skin, dark eyes (very mysterious) . . . basically, she has a lot to work with already. We looked through some pictures, and well, let's just say her family is a bit make-up happy. The women in her pictures tended to paint it on. And they did the number one no-no with makeup -- they tried to match clothing!!!! Ugh!!! I told her that in all reality -- her family had no clue.

So . . . with spending a total of $7, her self confidence is back where it belongs and she feels beautiful. She was making excellent choices for pretty much everything -- following the appropriate guidelines of wearing it to accent your skin tones and features, NOT her clothing. The only aspect she was unsure of was eye shadow. So, I gave her a quick lesson . . . with her features we didn't want to draw attention away from her eyes themselves by using too much color, but rather just brighten them with an iridescent look. (Think shimmer, not body glitter!) So, we found the perfect combination. It had a very nice smoky color (for her eye lids only) and an iridescent top color, and when we went out last night, well, she looked good.

The cool thing about this story and how it went down was that the eye shadow looked good on her, but that's not why she looked hot. Self confidence and being comfortable in who you are is hot, sexy even. She exuded that -- she felt better about herself and about how she looked because we (another girl pal of mine) reinforced her belief on how she looked and that she didn't need to change anything about herself. It worked ~ and was able to hook a guy she'd been interested in. I'm such a fan of building people up and not tearing them down.

The best $7 she had spent in a long time.