Olympic??

So - yeah...  the olympics are about to happen.  And don't get me wrong -- I love me some olympic competition...  but the commercialization is getting out right ridiculous.  Below are just some samples of crazy "olympic" items that made me think... really??

Olympic makeup -- for that gold medal face?  Or gold face?  Or metallic face?  I'm not sure about this at all....

The list is a little hygiene focused -- but do people really have odor so bad that they need deodorant that is an olympic champion level to contain it??  That's just NASTY! lol

Weird -- just weird, olympic lotion -- leave that up to your imaginations....

 Okay - this one gets style points -- an olympic ring toss game, and each ring is a different color to match the olympic rings...  this one kinda rocks...

WTF???  Gold metallic crocs with a union jack in the heel strap??  for $50??  BAHAHAHAHA!!!
(and keep in mind I do like my crocs)...  But the oddest thing I've found so far is this:

Olympic dog bag holders and bags....  OLYMPIC.... 

Politics -- meh!

"Clothes make the man.  Naked people have little or no influence on society." - Mark Twain

So, this might be a bit unexpected today -- a political rant.  I'm not overtly political -- I don't belong to a party.  I try to educate myself on the candidates that are running, and if I feel comfortable with what they stand for and how they communicate, I vote for them.  I DON'T vote a 'party ticket' -- I hate that.  Especially since the political parties are doing nothing but providing the same message in a different outfit.  Someone actually speaking the truth doesn't influence anything because they don't "look the part" -- so to speak.  (Hence the quote - which I LOVE)

So what has me up in arms -- a facebook ad.  I know, right??  I got a little facebook ad from the Democratic Party of Kansas with a little rainbow icon saying that the Democratic Party always has the interests of LGBT at heart.  Um -- really??  Always??  A wise professor once told me to investigate and never believe anything at face value, and she was right.  And you should never trust statements that contain "always" and "never."

So again -- why am I upset... Well - even though I'm gay (I know, shock!), my interests are with the rest of the country right now.  I'm sick and tired of what I jokingly call "The Politics of the Penis".  It started with the election of Mr. Hillary Clinton and has continued.  Everyone is worried about what everyone does with (or without) a penis.  Instead of telling us how they are going to get our AAA rating back as a nation, get our state out of debt, or fix the damn roads in the town I live in (they are doing that now, FINALLY, but all at once), I'm bombarded with sound bites about sex.

Don't believe me?  Watch this election cycle.  I want you to listen for the following three things:

• Abortion ~ seriously -- this is still a topic.  1975 called and wants it's controversy back!  Let's give it to 'em.  I'm not going to go into what I personally believe, b/c it's moot, and might surprise you where I stand.  Stop spending money we don't have dealing with an issue that should be laid to rest with the synthetic bell bottoms of that era.  It's legal -- move on!
• Gay Marriage ~ yeah, this makes me listen.  But honestly, I think we have more important things to worry about then whether or not I can change my last name at this time.  It's not that I don't think it's important (I am an HRC member), but I'm not voting based on this stand.  I'd vote for someone that doesn't want me to marry but can fix the tax code, close the loop holes, and fix our debt issues.  Why?  Simple, I can't "marry" anyway yet I know many people that do.  Marriage isn't a legal institution, it's a commitment between two people in front of God about loving each other forever and being faithful.  I don't need that legislated.  If it was 1991 and the economy was rocking along, I'd be all for this, but not right now.
• Sex Scandal ~ Tied to either Anthony Weiner (still makes me giggle) or a new one crops up.  Two words -- SO WHAT?  Every adult has a closet door that would have all kinds of skeletons and zombies come running out that we don't want the world to see.  I'm not making a decision based on whether or not someone is permiscuous. 

I probably over vented - but I just hate being labeled and being told that I should support something because I'm gay.  Or from Texas.  Or an Aggie.  Or a soon to be psychologist.  Or (insert reason here).  Let me think!  Let me make my own decision.  If you tell me what to do I'm liable to do the exact opposite to spite you....

www.dating.com

My computer!!  Sort of :)

So – it’s 2011 and there’s this handy little thing called an internet. It can help you find all kinds of things you never thought you needed – like superhero underwear, white watches, Disney branded gifts, even a pink A&M one-sie for your niece. It’s also makes finding things you need a lot easier – like a pizza for a party, scores from the latest basketball game (VCU?? Seriously??), hotel rooms in other states (NOLA! SD!), and yes – even a date.


That’s right kiddos – online dating is out there. You’ve seen the ads, from eHarmony, match.com, cupid.com, plentyofish.com (thx Gaga & Brit!), etc., etc. There’s even iPhone apps for it (Grindr for those that know) among others. So yes skittles, I have adventured into the world of online dating. It is 2011, and lets face it kids, there’s not a whole lot of options in Top City – but there really should be a translation book out there.

There’s just some real silliness posted out there online – so I thought I’d let you in on some of the stuff that makes me giggle or even outright laugh:

• The bare chest profile pic with phone/camera obstructing the face
Decoded: I’m not out of the closet. No relationship here, just – well – you know

• Same above, with the statement “Not looking to hookup”
Decoded: Yes you are

• Description of traits of an ideal guy that end with “Step to the front of the line”
Decoded: I’m desperate; I’ll go out with anyone. And I’ll trade up the first chance I get. How vain are you to think there is a line of men waiting to date you?  (And seriously – if there was actually a line would they be online??)

• Statement says “Your place only”
Decoded: I’m married/partnered and my wife/partner doesn’t know I’m cheating. Don’t tell!

• Ending a profile description that says “I don’t do drama!”
Decoded: Yes, you do. How would you know what drama is without doing it, and I’m guessing you are the main cause of said “drama” and therefore do “drama” a lot

• Having the terms “hot,” “sexy,” or “stud” in your signin
Decoded: I’m more into me than I am to you. And I know it too. Narcissism at its finest lol.

• Saying you are “discrete”
Decoded: You really mean “creepy” – you don’t want anyone to know what you are up to and that just makes me shiver

• And the one that makes me laugh the most – “Be masculine. I only like real men.”
Decoded: Hahahahaha – Are there really desperate women posing as gay men?

Good luck my fellow singles, straight, gay, lesbian, or bi – it’s a tough world out there!

Got $2300 I can borrow?

So I've decided on a new career.  I'm going to found a graduate school -- and build up a lot of publicity that it's VERY prestigious and VERY upper crust -- and I'm going to charge people $50 to $75 just to apply -- and I'll tell 'em all no.  But if I get 100 applications a year, it's vacation money!!  Woohoo!!

Okay - so I'm a bit perturbed at the cost of higher education.  I'm not talking about the cost of a credit hour, textbooks (although that's a whole other racket all together), or even fees . . . I'm talking about the cost of getting INTO grad school.  It's freaking ridiculous!!!

Here's the cost to apply to one school --
$60 to submit application
$25 to have ETS send official GRE scores to said school
$25 to have Texas A&M send official transcript
$15 to have Washburn University send official transcript
$200 for travel expenses/hotel room (that CHEAP hotel and driving) for interview day

Yeah . . . and the odds are the school is still going to tell me "NO"
How is this even legal???  What would the government do if employers charged people to submit applications of employment??

Explain to me how Texas A&M needs me to pay them to send my grades -- was the $25K I spent on my Engineering degree not enough?  And hey Washburn -- is the $12K I'm spending on my Psychology degree not enough?  If you need paper and a stamp I'll supply it (yeah -- and it's all electronic now anyway).

The standard advice is to apply to 5 to 7 programs you are interested in so you 'hopefully' get into one . . . um . . . that's like $1,625 to $2,275 just to APPLY!  What the french toast??

Oh well . . . I guess I might as well get a tattoo on my ass that says "Property of Uncle Sam" cuz I'm gonna owe them for the rest of my life . . . but at least I'll be happy!!!  :)

Save the Paper

Paperless transactions, paperless documents, paperless communication, paperless money, paperless . . . paperless . . . paperless. . .

What did paper ever do to you? Did it steal something important from you? Did it lie to you? Why do you hate paper so much?? Ever think about the impact that paper has had on your life?

I can promise you this, my life would be much different without paper. So many memories, so many images . . . are preserved on paper. Paper is, dare I say it, more personal. When you give someone something on paper, it means more. It says – “Hey, you took the time to write this down and send it to me. You must think I’m special.”

It’s amazing what happens to an item if you wrap it up in paper. Let’s say you bought someone a shirt and you just hand it to them. They’ll be happy . . . but that’s about it. Now take the same shirt, wrap paper around it, and give it to them. They are immediately touched by the gesture of taking some paper and concealing what you are giving them. You turn a handout into a present with the presence of paper.

And seriously . . . who doesn’t like to hold a wad of paper money?? How cool is it? Even if it’s a stack of $1’s, it’s still pretty awesome to hold. You just feel excited . . .

Yes, I’m lamenting the loss of paper in our world. It’s been so many special memories for me. Some from far ago, some from just the other day, but paper has been a huge part of them. From a present I really wanted years ago, to a fortune from a fortune cookie given to me by someone special, paper continues to be a part of something that touches my life.

So with that in mind . . . I say this . . . SAVE THE PAPER!!!

According to The Agenda

AHHHHHHHHHHHH! I really needed to get that out. I was checking out a link from Nilla’s facebook about a country singer that came out and well . . . I kinda got ticked!

I’m just about sick and tired of hearing the phrases “The Gay Agenda” and “I get it, you’re gay.” Not to mention the ignorant and stupid question of “I don’t understand what it’s such a big deal when gay people come out? What’s the point?”

Well – let’s address these one by one, shall we?

First – in regards to the Gay Agenda – there isn’t one. Shocking revelation, I know. I hate to break it to all the conservative right wing hullabaloo’s that swear up and down there is . . . the real point is there isn’t one. We didn’t all secretly one night have some big meeting and vote on what our agenda should be and then run out and try to implement it. Being gay is not a political view point, a social agenda, or a life choice. It’s simply just part of who we are. God decided to make us gay – just like he made others straight, or black, or white . . .

Second – in regards to “I get it, you’re gay” – Um, no you don’t. You don’t get it – at all. Because if you did Mr. Red Neck Hillbilly beat your wife Nadine while opening a Nattie Light – you wouldn’t feel the need to say that you do ACTUALLY get it. If you honestly did get the fact that people are gay, you’d read a story about someone asserting part of their life, and then move on with yours. You’d make a slight comment to someone near you like, “Oh – that’s interesting” or maybe “Cool” . . . but that’d be the extent of it. You wouldn’t have the impulse to start off a comment like “I get it, you’re gay” and then go on about how the Bible says being gay is wrong. Let me break this down real simple for you – You don’t get it. The Bible doesn’t say it’s wrong. Stop polluting the gene pool. (I might have been a bit stereotypical in this one . . .)

Finally – let’s understand the point of coming out – You don’t get the point because you don’t know what it’s like to be forced to be someone who you are not and finally break free of that yoke. I can’t explain it – There is no words for me to describe what it’s like to break out of what you are “expected” to be and embrace who you actually are. I’m going to go out on a limb and actually push this button – I think straight people that are so dismissive of the importance of a gay person coming out are actually JEALOUS that they don’t have an equally important self-acknowledgement. It’s just not a big deal to acknowledge that you are the normal, average, accepted person that you are. It’s a bit – dare I say – exciting to stand up and defy someone’s expectations and make a stand on who you truly are.

I can’t stand people that can’t accept the world for what it is and are always trying to twist it to fit their confining point of view. Back to your regular scheduled reading & surfing . . .

Return of the Guru

Alright my skittles . . . The Fashion Guru is baaaaack! It is time for me to impart some extremely importante information regarding certain fashion choices that have been working my last nerve. I am tired of walking around in all my fabulosity and having to be bombarded with some rather . . . well, disturbing selections that some of the less fortunate are making. Since my journeys have made me almost other-worldly, I'd like to impart my fashion wisdom. So today, there are 3 simple rules that I'd like everyone to follow for the rest of the summer.

Rule #1 - Read Instructions ~ Read instructions?? Yes dearies . . . if you were not aware many of today's ensembles come WITH INSTRUCTIONS! If you will just read the item's instructions you will not make a poor choice. Need an example?? Take "skinny jeans." This is such an easy instruction to follow - they are telling you if you are skinny, these are your jeans. If you are NOT SKINNY, these ARE NOT your jeans. It's just that easy! And skinny isn't if you line up all of your relatives at the Southern Deep Fried convention and you happen to be the smallest fatty that you are then skinny . . . skinny is NOT relative. Other examples -- mom jeans (jeans for mom), fitted tees (if they don't fit . . .), undershirts (rednecks - this means to wear 'under' another shirt - or to make it easier to understand you will end up wearing as many shirts as you have teeth). See?? That was easy.

Rule #2 - Ensure contents don't shift during travel ~ or in other words . . . wear undergarments! Ladies -- unless you are 24 with super perky boobs, you need to support your girls with some type of bra . . . any bra . . . seriously. Try the pencil test . . . If you can stick a pencil under your boob, and it stays, you need support. Gravity is the devil - and after nursing 3 children and gaining 40 lbs, you should not under ANY circumstances allow you girls to EVER be free . . . I'm not sure I'd even recommend them to be free EVER, but at least in public keep them contained. The last thing anyone wants to see is a couple of droopy orangutan boobies bouncin under some light cottony fabric. It's enough to make anyone wanna hurl.

Rule #3 - Also known as JJ's Golden Rule of Fashion - Just because it's your size does NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD WEAR IT!!! ~ Low rise jeans aren't meant to be warn by a size 24 women or 40" waisted man . . . they are just not! There is nothing sexy or alluring about someone that is wearing a pair of jeans that doesn't cover back fat or muffin top. NOTHING! Since you are not hot, (trust me, your not) your fashion choices should create the illusion that in a really dark bar with several drinks, you might be "cute". And if you are wearing something you shouldn't, it won't work.

Please, if you are one of the few gifted souls like me, help me help the fashionably challenged, or as I call them the FT's (Fashion-Tards), pass these rules along. It can only make the world a more beautiful place . . .

Rules of Engagement

I might be a bit judgmental, but I just think it's important to actually be employed - or working on gainful employment, when looking for a mate. It's kind of scary when you go out with someone that doesn't work - and isn't planning on getting a job in the near future.

Then there's the right and wrong things to say when courting someone. You shouldn't comment on less than flattering features of your prospective partner. It's not the wisest idea to actually point out a flabby chest or a bit of belly fat. Kinda kills the mood . . .

And definitely ask questions if someone says something that you don't understand. Never just assume you know what the other person is talking about or that you will figure it out later. Topics have a funny way of rearing their ugly head again and forcing you at some point to actually admit you have no clue what's being discussed, and therefore looking more like an idiot.

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever under any circumstances whatsoever profess to be in love with the person on the first date. Even if you've known each other for years and years, it comes across as hokey and reeking of desperation. Kinda ruins the joy of the pursuit.

On the first arranged meeting, don't bring your two hags, gossip and talk amongst yourself, giggle uncontrollably, and then leave within 15 min of arrival. Well, you can, but don't ask if the other person likes you -- if you can't stick around to find out it's probably not worth finding out the answer.

Refrain from asking what names the kids are going to have that you both will be adopting on the first date. Not the best time to suggest building a family and home with someone when you are just getting to know each other.

Everyone knows it's all about putting your best foot forward - but make sure it's actually a good foot. No one likes a know-it-all, and everyone hates an idiot. It's better to be comfortable with yourself, flaws and all, then to try and mask it behind feigned intelligence.

I don't think this is asking too much . . . is it?

America -- there is life after MJ!!!

I was trying to avoid this, but after having the death of Michael Jackson shoved down my throat for an entire weekend, I couldn't avoid it. So -- let me dust off my bedazzled soap box because I'm about to stand up on it and go off bitches . . .

All of the sorry ass people that are "devastated" and "depressed" because of the death of Michael Jackson -- I have one question for you. Name his last number one hit . . . go ahead . . . I'll wait.

Still waiting . . .

And still waiting . . .

No - this isn't one of those I'm a huge fan and all you people are idiots -- I'm not the Britney youtube kid under a sheet. I can't name it either . . . that's my point! How can one be sooooo devastated and distraught over someone that they can't even remember his last #1, his last single, or his last cd. I wanna know how many of these "fans" who are leaving flowers at his rent-a-mansion in LA actually owned his music BEFORE he died.

Look -- I love me some Michael Jackson -- especially his earlier stuff (re: Bille Jean, Smooth Criminal, Don't Stop til You get Enough) . . . but I didn't know him. I didn't go out with him. I didn't talk with him on the phone about all the little boys locked in his basement (yeah, I went there). I can empathize with the pain his siblings are going thru (I'd be distraught if one of my brothers died), but that's where it ends. My life is not any different b/c he passed -- and that's my point. GRIEF is not the appropriate emotion here kids -- unless you are a friend, family member, or associate. The appropriate emotion here is CELEBRATORY.

My life IS different b/c he was on this earth, for better or worse. I acknowledge all his accomplishments in how he changed pop music, dance, videos, and the definition of crazy. I'm not gonna cry or feel the need to mourn his passing. Celebrate his contributions, his impact, his music.

But enough with what a great person he was . . . he wasn't great, he was tragic. He couldn't get over being a child star, accepting his race (don't tell me it was a skin disease - that doesn't explain the hair, nose, or make up kids), and in the end reality itself. He had to have children to have people that unconditionally loved him -- his parents didn't. Don't believe me? Check out the CNN interview of Joe Jackson (his dad) on YouTube at the BET awards. He actually PLUGS a project while talking about the death of his son. Really?? The death of a child is a good time to promote your next project??

Look - I'm stopping short of calling him a pedophile (minus the boys in the basement joke earlier) b/c we don't know. However his "associates" or "keepers" should have ensured that he never got in the situations he was in to begin with. He needed help - the mental kind. And instead of helping him they allowed his madness to continue - as long as they got paid. And we got entertained. I think it's sad that not only the boys he could have harmed, but even HE was marginalized . . . as long as made records. Tragic . . .

It's safe to say he was a tortured soul. He didn't like what he saw in the mirror. I'm sure he didn't like all the jokes on tv, and all the negative print in magazines and papers. Who would?? Now the same group that ignored, took advantage of him, and basically ran him into the ground now act alarmed and surprised at his demise??

Everyone had a hand in his demise, EVERYONE. His family couldn't give him the tough, but real love he needed. His friends took advantage of him, without really helping him. His business partners or associates (or whatever) enabled him to do whatever as long as he made them money. Hell, we forgave all of his crazy, insane behavior as long as the music was good and the concerts were fierce. So - let's stop being hypocritical and celebrate his music, but enough with the "tributes" to how "great" he was. Stop leaving flowers, having candle light vigils - and all that other crap. The only ligit mourning that we even could justify would be to be sad that he will no longer entertain us.

Let the tortured soul die in peace, b/c no one would let him live that way. There, I'm done -- I'm gonna go download some Michael Jackson music now . . . beyatches!

EZ Weight Loss my Arse!

Okay - so I'm about sick of all the easy weightloss plugs that are out there today. Yes kids, it's been awhile, but here's a rant for ya . . .

First of all -- If I have to see the Nutrisystem ad one more time I'm gonna scream. Read the small print -- "results not typical". My problem with that is that they even put that up when Dan Marino talks - and he only lost 22lbs!!!! What kind of program are you trying to sell if the results are not typical that you can't even guarantee someone losing 20 freaking lbs! What a crock!

Then -- there's this new ad thing I keep seeing on facebook for something called "the pink patch". A--I'm assuming it's for women only. And B--putting a patch on your belly isn't going to make you look like the models that are photographed on the ad. I mean seriously . . . if a damn patch was all that was required then wouldn't we all be walkin' around with it??

Don't even get me started on this goober trying to push "The Fat Switch" crap on people. His claim is that he lost over 200 lbs without strenuous exercise and ate all and whatever he wanted and it just melted away . . . Really?? A Fat Switch?? How about I bring my Snake Oil Salesmen meter around you and see if it goes off or not . . . What do ya know -- it does!

There's only 2 things you can do to lose weight and keep it off -- eat less and exercise. And yes, the exercise will make you tired and your muscles sore . . . but it feeeeeeeeeeeeels soooooooooo gooooooooood . . . yeah, I'm kind of addicted to it now. I just needed to rant about this b/c I'm starting to see these ads next to my blog on fb b/c of it's topics, and it ticks me off. There are tools and (obviously) procedures that can help you eat less, but you still gotta work out! Okay . . . back to normal now . . .

Oh -- and I'm totally sportin' the 60 lbs shoes today!!! That's right kids . . . 60 lbs and loving it!

Is that REALLY necessary??

I'm all about making statements -- really! I'm a huge fan of speaking your mind (albeit appropriately, sometimes) -- but last night on the way home -- I think I hit my limit. I was behind a beat up red generic sedan type car with a support ribbon for -- LAP DANCING.

Okay -- is that REALLY necessary?? Seriously?? Do you really need to have a magnetic ribbon on the back of your car telling everyone in the world that you are either a stripper or stripper addict??

So this morning -- it got me thinking (don't worry, I stretched first!) What else out there makes me say "Is that REALLY necessary??" And since I know you all want to know -- here my list!

1. The buzzword term "value added." Did we really need to come up with a fancy way to say valuable or beneficial? And if we did -- is this all we could come up with as a people?? Seriously?? I 100% HATE this term. It's one of the most over used buzzword jargon pieces of poo -- I promise I will hear it today before work is over.
2. A fourth judge on American Idol. True -- we all know that Paula Abdul is kuh-ray-zee -- but isn't that part of the fun?? Remember what happened to the Brady Bunch when they added "Oliver" -- it went bye-bye . . . although technically that wasn't a bad thing either. AND the best we could come up with was Kara DiGuardo?? I mean -- who?? I get that she's a successful songwriter -- but how about getting one that's iconic?? I'm sure Carole King would have been available and added much more credibility. (Admit it -- how many of you knew Kara DiGuardo co-wrote "Ain't No Other Man" for Christina Aguilera.....)
3. Pop up ads . . . um -- about as important as junk mail. Has anyone ever purchased anything from a pop up?
4. What is up with all the splicing of categories at the Grammy's?? Seriously!! You have so many 'genres' that sound the exact same. Take into account the following categories: (Bluegrass & Country), (R&B, HipHop, Rap), (Tejano & Mexican), (Heavy Metal, Rock, & Hard Rock) -- doesn't this all seem a bit like trying to decide what the difference is between a frappacino and iced coffee?
5. Serving sizes on drink mixes. Seriously -- you will be surprised! I am in love with Propel drink mixes b/c it's really adding flavor and electrolytes to water -- and it's just 20 calories per bottle of water you add it to. BUT -- if you look on the little drink packet, it tells you the serving size is HALF the damn packet!!! Are you kidding me?? Is someone really not going to buy it because it says one packet is 20 calories instead of 10 calories for half a packet?? I want to meet that person, so I can shoot them! Geez . . .
6. Digital tv conversion -- was this actually necessary?? Why did we mandate the switch from analog to digital?? I just don't get why this was important at all . . . I mean I love my HDTV -- don't get a girl wrong -- but did we really need to force Grandpa Jones on the back 40 to take his horse into town to visit the Wal-Marts (yes, the s is intentional -- and you know that if you've ever lived in the country) and buy a converter box? I'm a bit unclear on why this was at all needed . . .
7. Another 800 Billion dollar stimulus plan . . . because the first one did well, right?? Does anyone even remotely think that the economy (I know Claire) is going to immediately turn around because we keep throwing (now over a trillion) dollars at it?? Recession is a natural part of an economic cycle, and the longer you stave it off, the longer it will last when it comes. An economy can not grow for ever -- it has to contract before it grows again. Think of it as eating and pooping . . . and I'm not kidding on this. It's what my half baked ECON prof told us, and it was the only thing he said that made sense.
8. Blu-ray DVDs -- again, I love HD, BUT . . . I really don't want to see the size of the pores on Chris Evans' face . . .

I know it seems I've been ranting on this, but it actually took me a few weeks on this entry. I just would stumble across something and jot it down to use for later when I thought of it. I know there's tons more out there . . . so feel free to add your own in the comments section. What makes you think "Is that REALLY necessary?"

Me and Grocery Stores . . .

What is it with me and grocery stores?? Maybe it's because I usually go late at night. Partly b/c of my work schedule, and partly b/c I just don't like crowds of people.

So, I'm at the grocery store gathering a few odds and ends, and then I notice -- everyone shopping looks either extremely hung over or the mental hospital down the road a few blocks had a break out. I have never seen so many zombie like people in one location wearing various forms of pajamas and troll doll hair do's since One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest . . . but that's just me.

I quickly gather my remaining items and head for the self checkout lanes (I LOVE those). No checker to comment on my purchase or some bag boy that squishes my chips or put two items per bag. Yes, the control is MINE!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! (The simple things in life . . . )

Then, just as I pass the only open regular lane, I realize all the self checkouts are CLOSED!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I always end up with creepy checkout person . . . UGH! So, the checkout goes somewhat smoothly (he only asked me 4 times if this was all I had, and it was) and then we get to payment. Now being the courteous shopper I am, I have already swiped my check card, requested 20 bucks cash back, entered my code, and am just waiting for said cashier to process my transaction.

"You need to pay"

"I swiped my card already"

"No you didn't"

"Yes sir, I did" (This isn't going so well)

"I didn't see you"

"It says 'waiting on cashier'. I did debit and asked for cash back"

"Swipe it again"

"Aren't you supposed to hit the debit key on your register"

"Huh? Oh yeah . . . " (Hits debit key -- yes I was a checker in college for a time)

"Can I get 4 five dollar bills?" (Remember the 20 bucks I requested? I get 5's so I don't have to carry 20 dollars worth of change when I want a soda at work)

"What! It says 20 dollars!"

"Yes sir. Can I get 4 fives?"

"No. You have to get 20 dollars."

"Sir, count out the change for 4 fives. It's 20 dollars"

"Huh? No it's not. Look - 5, 10, 15, 20 - oh. Here." (I'd be willing to bet his register is a tad short at the end of his shift).

I hate grocery stores.

Big 3 are Gold Diggers

Now the automakers are wanting $34 million to make sure they don't go bankrupt. There's talk of a "car czar" or "committee" to oversee the industry (i.e. FAA). If they need that much now, why are they going to be solvent with a loan. Isn't that what got us to this position in the first place ???? I'm not making money, so get a loan and then that will make it work??? Last time I checked it's a bad, bad idea to take a loan to pay bills when your bills are higher than your income.

Does anyone think they need to rethink/restructure how they do business?? I don't want anyone to lose their jobs, but if the unions and automakers can't reach a deal to stay in business, then I believe Ch 11 and restructuring IS the solution. A loan is like bailing out a flooded oceanliner with a tea spoon.

The Financial Bailout isn't all that hot -- it's losing value daily and the banks are cutting credit limits and keeping money close to the vest. Not saying that's bad, but it didn't do what everyone said it would do - which was open up the credit markets. Now, another industry wants $$. I say get rid of the mgmt teams -- and hire the teams from Hyundai, Kia, Toyota, or Nissan to help them right our ships. They seem to be able to remain profitable in the auto industry despite the global downturn.

Ugh . . . let's just all not pay taxes and then they'll have no money to spend poorly!! :)
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Now playing: Kanye West - Gold Digger
via FoxyTunes

Hey Dubya! I'm Talking to YOU!!

I turn on the news last night because I can’t sleep. I start to hear the psycho babble of “Christians” declaring how “secular” America is, and how we don’t want God in our lives and in or schools. The degradation of American society is by the “Liberal Secularists” who are forcing their beliefs down our throats. (Hmmmm . . . need to find the remote so I can change the channel.) And before I can hit the clicker, the old crusty Pee-Paw on CNN suddently blurts out “The decline in the belief in God and the breakdown of traditional American values is due in large part to prevalence of homosexuality in our culture.”

Are you for real with this shit?? REALLY?? The “prevalence” of homosexuality in our culture is the reason people don’t believe in God? What God are you referring to? Has the thought ever crossed their minds that America isn’t rejecting God at all, but rather THEIR INTERPRETATION of God?? Their version of God kinda overlooks the 10 commandments, of which the Christian, Muslim, and Jewish faiths build their faiths around. Some examples . . . WELL . . .

How about #3, you know, the one where you’re not supposed to use the Lord’s name in vain?? How many conservatives exclaim “God Damnit!” for no reason??

And there’s #4 . . . keeping the Sabbath Holy. Know anyone that works on their faith’s Sabbath?? I do . . .

Then there’s #7 Adultery is bad, #8 Don’t Steal, #9 Don’t lie . . . hmmmmmmm . . . getting the picture here??

There are whole chapters about the 10 commandments. There’s tons and tons and tons of books about how these 10 commandments have shaped our moral structures, our belief systems, and our lives for that matter. These 10 commandments are the foundation of every major monotheistic religion in the world. Even though are entire belief system and structure is founded on these 10 laws, it’s okay to break them if you feel bad later.

But don’t be Gay. Because THAT would be the reason America is turning away from God. Not because those of us beating our bibles and screaming at the top of our lungs are breaking these basic laws that line the foundation of our faiths. It’s the Gay people . . .

HEY PEE-PAW – FUCK YOU!!!!!

Let me break this down for ya in two simple points . . . cause obviously rational thought might give him a heart attack . . . and the “Christian” Right for that matter . . .

Point #1 ~ All love flows from God. Therefore, all love is Divine. DEAL WITH IT!

Point #2 ~ Just because you don’t understand it does not mean it’s evil.

Damn that pissed me off . . .