Got $2300 I can borrow?

So I've decided on a new career.  I'm going to found a graduate school -- and build up a lot of publicity that it's VERY prestigious and VERY upper crust -- and I'm going to charge people $50 to $75 just to apply -- and I'll tell 'em all no.  But if I get 100 applications a year, it's vacation money!!  Woohoo!!

Okay - so I'm a bit perturbed at the cost of higher education.  I'm not talking about the cost of a credit hour, textbooks (although that's a whole other racket all together), or even fees . . . I'm talking about the cost of getting INTO grad school.  It's freaking ridiculous!!!

Here's the cost to apply to one school --
$60 to submit application
$25 to have ETS send official GRE scores to said school
$25 to have Texas A&M send official transcript
$15 to have Washburn University send official transcript
$200 for travel expenses/hotel room (that CHEAP hotel and driving) for interview day

Yeah . . . and the odds are the school is still going to tell me "NO"
How is this even legal???  What would the government do if employers charged people to submit applications of employment??

Explain to me how Texas A&M needs me to pay them to send my grades -- was the $25K I spent on my Engineering degree not enough?  And hey Washburn -- is the $12K I'm spending on my Psychology degree not enough?  If you need paper and a stamp I'll supply it (yeah -- and it's all electronic now anyway).

The standard advice is to apply to 5 to 7 programs you are interested in so you 'hopefully' get into one . . . um . . . that's like $1,625 to $2,275 just to APPLY!  What the french toast??

Oh well . . . I guess I might as well get a tattoo on my ass that says "Property of Uncle Sam" cuz I'm gonna owe them for the rest of my life . . . but at least I'll be happy!!!  :)