Sunday, September 13, 2009

10 Reasons Football is Gay


Damn I love me some football!!!!
Many people don't realize this -- but football is kind of a gay sport. Seriously . . . (This is kind of a repost -- I couldn't find the original post so I just thought about it again and this is what I came up with) :)
There are just so many things about football that lend itself to gay culture - so for those who don't realize it I give you my 10 Reasons Football is Gay . . .
10. Coordinated outfits and matching accessories -- move past the matching uniforms and helmets -- but now there is coordinated gear to wear under your pads so your long sleeves match the uniform, colored athletic tape, arm pads, etc.
9. 5 or so old men wearing striped outfits with yellow hankies blowing whistles and waving their arms . . . big ol' queens there . . .
8. While everyone typically wears underwear that covers their entire rear, the undergarment designed for football is assless . . .
7. Have you SEEN the tight metallic pants that the players wear??? Who do you think designed those puppies??
6. when the ball goes out of the back of the endzone, you get a touch back (think about it for a minute -- it'll make sense)
5. Three words -- The Locker Room
4. Think real hard about how the ball is put into play . . . you'll see what I mean. Unless your team is a bunch of wusses and just does the shotgun.
3. Wide Receivers and Tight Ends
2. The innuendos by the sports casters -- in one broadcast you might here "He really stuck it in there," "They rammed it in thru the crease," or "They shoved it down their throats" . . . you can fit yours in here . . .
And #1 -- The Good Game Ass Slap
Discuss . . .

7 comments:

  1. You mustn't forget the defensive line's "penetration" through the quarterback's "protection"

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  2. Generally, one must have an agressive thrust to achieve good penetration. I usually giggle through a game... David just shakes his head...

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Leave your thoughts, comments, complaints, or random synaptic misfires . . . thx for reading and responding!! Love -- jj:)