The Long Journey Home

Wow! I could start this blog with all kinds of cliche's . . . like "Every journey begins with the first step" or the ever popular "Why is it guy's don't ask for directions?" . . . but I won't do that. Besides, I did ask for directions, and that's just how I am. So, let's jump in . . .

On Thursday, I'll be embarking on a trip that is over 500 miles and 10 years in the making. I'm taking off to visit my Dad. I haven't seen him, that I recall, since I graduated high school. Our relationship was tense and strained ever since I entered my teen years. He never did anything to hurt me, or harm me, or really push me away. I was just angry at what was going on in my life, I was confused about who I was, and I struggled with my moods. My mind was in a drink mixer, and all that came out was hate. For some reason, the only adult in my life that didn't hurt me or take advantage of me had to take the brunt of all my anger. I know why, but it wasn't anything he did.

Moving to Kansas gave me a chance to piece together my life and put some order to my universe, if you will. It hasn't all been a joy, but it was the best decision I could have made. I was able to finally move past the abuse by my step-father, accept who I was as a person, and look back and see what relationships needed mending.

The obvious place to start was with my Dad. He's been there, finding out about me from my brother Jim, waiting for me to come around. Then, my step-mom Lisa, knowing both my father and me, intervened. She sent me an email just wanting to let me know they cared. It was the push I needed. Emails have been exchanged, phone conversations took place, and now I'm going to visit.

I'm going on a journey Home, to a place where I've never been. A place that I know has always been there for me, I was just so scared to go. For those wondering the "oh Joe, does he know?" Well, he does, and doesn't care. He loves and accepts me for me. He doesn't want to push me away, he just wants to be a part of my life, and get to know the man I've become. Not much will be said between us, but much will be felt. I know he loves me, I've always known.

Daddy, I'm coming Home.