Hula Hoops

Well . . . I got some advice from some friends, and that was to follow my own advice.

My advice that I was giving was telling a friend not to worry how other people would react because you can't control their reactions. You can only control how you react. I call this the Hula Hoop Principle. Imagine a hula hoop around you. You control everything in the hula hoop, but not outside of it. You can influence outside of your hula hoop, but not conrol it. So don't worry about what's outside of it. Control what's inside of your hula hoop, and you'll be much happier. (It works great for us admitted conrol freaks!)

She was engaged and broke it off with her finace'. They had grown apart (they don't even live in the same state) and it was just over. About a month later, she now has a new boyfriend she is crazy about. Which is kudos for her! However, she is worried about what people will think/feel about her. She doesn't want to be judged. I told her that she controls how she lets them know about her new boyfriend. She can't control how they react to it, and to not worry about it. Only worry about what she can control. I reminded her that she knows she made the right call for both her and her finace' by ending the relationship. I also told her that he would date others as well. Someone always is first in finding the new person, and in this case it was her. She smiled and agreed that I was right (why wouldn't I be?) and that she felt better. Yeah me! I'm an awesome friend, helped someone with an issue, and am filling quite chipper with myself.

I'm out to my friends and some people at work, but no to my family. I haven't come out to my family for a mulitude of reasons, but mainly because I was worried about how they would react. I didn't want to deal with it. So, I avoided it. I'm not ashamed of who I am. I'm tired of pretending to be what my family wants me to be, and am no longer going to compromise my happiness to do so. I feel that a lot of gay men and women reach this point. Some of us are just in the remedial course . . . :) Well, I'm at that point. So, I was really worried about how the whole situation was going to unfold and what was going to happen, and my friend from the above paragraph was being my concerned ear. She smiled ever so slightly and said to me without batting and eye, "Follow your own advice."

"What?" I asked. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

Again, a smile. "Where's your hula hoop?"

Shut the damn door! She's right. Nothing else I can say. So I did it. I'm out. Looks like I found my hula hoop.

Hugz! :)