Three Cookie Meditation

My great-grandmother Thelma was probably one of the spunkiest and wisest women I've ever known.  When I'd go visit, she'd always, always give me three cookies.  Never asked her why, she never asked how many I wanted, she just always gave me three.  Today, I know why.

I was confronted with a bit of reality about myself today.  Truth, while sometimes upsetting, can also be freeing.  A chance to reflect, learn, adjust, or in my case, I needed three cookies.  Three soft, chewy not really large but not super small chocolate chip cookies.  Always helps.  Thank you Subway on SW Topeka Blvd!

So as I was eating the first cookie, I began to think about what I was told.  I didn't really like what I was hearing, I didn't really want to identify with the information.  Who were they to put their stuff on me anyway?  I can't worry about always offending people?  What the heck?!?!  I'm just trying to be authentic and me.  Damn that was a freeing cookie.  I think I'll eat another one...

First bite out of the second cookie.  I don't really want to be seen in that light.  Why am I okay with that perception?  Is that REALLY how I want to be known?  What is wrong with me right now?  Why am I so angry?  Why am I willfully spewing meanness?  Why am I hurting my friends' feelings?  And more importantly, why am I not really noticing?  What is THAT all about??  Damn I'm not sure I like this road.  That cookie was nasty...  I need to eat another one...

Slowly taking a bite out of the third cookie.  So yeah, kind of in conflict.  I'm not upset with anyone around me really.  Yet some venom is spilling over.  Where's that negative energy coming from?  I'm going to just focus on that negative energy for awhile, and focus on the cookie.  Not sure where the source is going.  First cookie was too self righteous, almost like it was loaded with denial.  Second cookie was full of self-pity.  Now I can definitely identify with the emotions of my friends, and at the same time understand that this is not exactly who I am.  Something is festering down there, something is trying to pop out, damn the unconscious.  At least I was able to enjoy that third cookie while understanding more work is needed.

Three cookies.  Three perspectives.  Three ways to look at a problem.  I guess even as a small child she knew that I wouldn't be able to look at something objectively unless I got through the third cookie.  Not that I recommend three cookie meditation a lot.  But used sparingly, it can definitely open up your eyes.  Change is needed, now just to figure out how...

I wonder if there is a philosophy involving Cheetos....