Christmas Irony

I want to start off by saying I absolutely, without a doubt, LOVE irony. How can you not?? I think it’s one of the things that makes life just too funny. If you can’t laugh at life – then there’s just not that much that is funny to ya . . .

So, with that in mind – let me tell you about my Christmas in Topeka. It actually begins in Texas, where I tell my parents that I really don’t think it’s gonna be a good idea for me to drive back down from Topeka on Christmas Eve b/c of the weather. They are predicting lots of snow, and I just don’t think it’s a good idea for me to drive in that kind of weather. They agree, and it’s settled. I am NOT leaving for Texas.

Now . . . not that I mind heading to Texas, but I was looking forward to a relaxing holiday and a little fun time with friends, not to mention 5 days off from work (that kinda rocks!). On Christmas Eve, as expected, I wake up to sleet and ice that quickly turns into the Christmas Blizzard of 2009. We broke a 100 year record for snowfall and well . . . good call on not leaving. Two friends come over to help me fix a drainage problem in my basement, and later I attend Christmas Eve service with a good friend. Mind you, it has been snowing STEADILY since noon . . .

I wake up on Christmas morning and am so excited!!! My first WHITE CHRISTMAS!!! How fun! I know what I’m going to do . . . I’m going to open the back of the car and listen to Christmas music while shoveling snow off the driveway. How Midwest of me!! So – I get thru RuPaul’s rendition of Santa Baby, and then move on to Mariah’s “All I Want for Christmas” when the radio shuts off. Hmmmmmm . . . that’s odd.

I go to see what happened, and the battery is dead. D-E-A-D . . . I suddenly go from a relaxed snow shoveler to a caged animal in a poorly attended zoo . . . AHHHH! I can’t go anywhere! I’m stranded in my own home!! On Christmas!!! UGH!!! (Irony #1 – was going to relax all week ANYWAY and now I’m so stressed out b/c I no longer have the OPTION to go anywhere)

So, the day after Christmas, my friend comes over to pick me up after I’ve gotten my battery (almost) completely disconnected from the car. We get in his car and, well, he gets stuck out in front of my street. See . . . Topeka doesn’t really do a good job of plowing the snow, and after a foot of snow and all the wind, one can tend to get stuck. My neighbor pulls us out – and we’re off to Big O’Tires to get a new battery.

On the way back to my house with new battery in hand, I suggest parking in the driveway across from my house b/c no one lives there (it’s for sale) AND there’s NO way you’d get stuck there. So he does and we get out and replace the battery. He backs out into the middle of the street . . . AND . . . he gets stuck again! So my neighbor AGAIN politely pulls us out of the snow in the middle of the street . . .

And as SOON as we get his car unstuck from the snow . . . the FREAKING SNOW PLOW turns on the street. SERIOUSLY??? NOW THE SNOW PLOW COMES??? What was even kind of funny was the snow plow got stuck in the street too! (Irony #2 – after pulling his car out twice from the snow, the snow plow comes to plow the road and gets stuck too)

Yeah . . . while it was kind of a frustrating experience to live through . . . looking back you kind of have to giggle about it.

Oh, and Gracie . . . you need to learn how to read the number of tags . . .it’s the number AFTER the tag . . . so you still have one more tag than he does you big ol’ diva!!! 