The Next Chapter

How often do you hear that people want to change? Often – right? Now here’s a tougher question – how many of them ACTUALLY changed? There a multitude of reasons why people don’t change. Fear of the unknown, it’s comfortable doing what they are currently doing, there’s no real reason to change, etc., etc. . . . We’ve heard them all before.

However, there is only one real reason that people do change. Something deep within them calls to them, and they listen. The listen to that calling, and make a choice. The choice is a simple one, they can follow what it says, or ignore it. I feel lucky in that I’m surrounded by people that listen to that voice, and it encourages me everyday to keep following what I hear.

Those that make a change start a new chapter in their life. A new twist to their story that makes the ride of life all that more interesting. I find myself at one of those junctions, and as a look around some people that are closest to me are there too. We all are wondering what the next chapter holds -- and it's kind of scary . . .

One of the less talked about challenges of change are those around you – that DON’T want you to change. There are people in our lives, and we all have them, that do not ever want you to change. That influence is sometimes very, very hard to overcome, and often the hardest. It’s scary to walk a path that you’ve never been down, but if you are trying to do with a slew of people against you – one is apt not to even try.

A very special person in my life inspired me today. A dream of his that he never really thought would come to fruition is actually in front of him. He walked into the unknown, and started down the path. He’s aware of the challenges ahead, and the success that awaits him. The best part – he’s doing it for him and no one else. Change will only last if you do it for you – b/c ultimately you are the one that’s living it, not anyone else.

So – to him I say I am with you. If you ever need me, you know I’m here. And to you – loyal reader and follower of my random thoughts – embrace change – in you and in those that are close to you. Evolve – and see how the world changes with you.

Let's turn the page together and see what the next chapter has in store . . .

Bring on Year Two

Year one is officially in the books. Year two is off to a bang – how quickly things roll by. You turn around and just the amount of change that can take place in a life is sometimes a bit overwhelming. There are many theories out there about personality and such, and I won’t delve into them now – mainly b/c I’m not versed enough yet – but there is one that talks about every 10 years or so you have a transition in your life, and that transition can be quite big.

Welcome to my transition . . .

The quick, and obvious changes, are of course the external. In one year I’ve lost 165 pounds. I had a goal of getting under 300 by 2/26, and was off just by two days. Two days into my second year, the scale read 299. Next goal is 250 by August – that’s 49 pounds. I’m in a wedding out in San Diego and it’d be cool to be that small by the time the pics are taken. My health is in a good transition.

Also external – my career. For over 10 years, I’ve been an executive at Target working in their Distribution Centers. I’ve loved it – great company, better people, and they really take care of ya. However, it’s no longer my calling. My passion is to help people – maybe through their transitions – who knows. What I do know is that studying for psychology, although challenging at times, has been to date rather rewarding as well. I’ve learned more about myself and human interactions than I thought I would up to this point. The challenge has been daunting this semester – Taking half of a course load and working full time. But the bottom line is that I’m going to transition my career . . . another good transition.

Now one that’s not so obvious – unless you really, really know me. I’ve opened my heart, and am taking a risk. I’ve fallen for someone. I took down my walls and let someone in. I’m so scared about it, but am loving every minute of it. The polar opposites of emotion can sometimes be overwhelming – but that dichotomy of feeling by experiencing all that it has to offer has truly touched my soul. I’m not going to be so scared to love that I don’t ever try – I’ve got to Make It Happen if it’s going to. God only provides the opportunity, you have to walk through and seize the chance. We are learning together, how to take the walls down and trust each other. Yeah, my emotional health is in transition . . . for the better.

So, year one changed a lot, and it looks like Bob’s (or my lab band) second year is going to be just as full of twists and turns. Kinda like the rollercoasters that a certain someone and I are going to ride this summer . . . hold on tight kids – it’s going to be one helluva ride!

Oh – and the boa?? Yeah, I had to wear it to my surprise celebration my bff Gracie and Eric through for me . . . yeah it was a freaking BLAST!!

My Weightloss Sistas

How about this for some bravery -- that is my current weight as of 11/29/2009 just after noon. Most people might not be excited that their weight is just a smidge under 330, but honey -- I am. I'm down 135 lbs . . . and that ab routine I started a few weeks ago -- yeah, it's working!

However -- this isn't a post about my weightloss journey, but how our journey is going. See -- I thought I was all alone on this weight loss thing. No one around that would really get - or understand the struggles. Who could relate to wanting "one more chip at 3am" or "two more pizza slices are fine -- who cares if it finished the large pizza??" I was ready to roll my sleeves up and fight this all by myself.

That's when God reminded me that I'm not alone. Not by a LONG shot. Not only is he with me on this trek, but two of the sweetest ladies I know have confided in me (and others) that they are on this journey too. I do believe he brought us together - for support and encouragement. It's so much easier knowing that someone you know totally gets it. They understand the struggles -- truly understand it all. They know the satisfaction in walking past a plate of cookies -- and how unbelievably difficult that task actually is.

So Cindy & Annette -- this is for you . . . (and me too) . . . I'm so proud of my Weight Loss Sistas!!

Me and Grocery Stores . . .

What is it with me and grocery stores?? Maybe it's because I usually go late at night. Partly b/c of my work schedule, and partly b/c I just don't like crowds of people.

So, I'm at the grocery store gathering a few odds and ends, and then I notice -- everyone shopping looks either extremely hung over or the mental hospital down the road a few blocks had a break out. I have never seen so many zombie like people in one location wearing various forms of pajamas and troll doll hair do's since One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest . . . but that's just me.

I quickly gather my remaining items and head for the self checkout lanes (I LOVE those). No checker to comment on my purchase or some bag boy that squishes my chips or put two items per bag. Yes, the control is MINE!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! (The simple things in life . . . )

Then, just as I pass the only open regular lane, I realize all the self checkouts are CLOSED!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I always end up with creepy checkout person . . . UGH! So, the checkout goes somewhat smoothly (he only asked me 4 times if this was all I had, and it was) and then we get to payment. Now being the courteous shopper I am, I have already swiped my check card, requested 20 bucks cash back, entered my code, and am just waiting for said cashier to process my transaction.

"You need to pay"

"I swiped my card already"

"No you didn't"

"Yes sir, I did" (This isn't going so well)

"I didn't see you"

"It says 'waiting on cashier'. I did debit and asked for cash back"

"Swipe it again"

"Aren't you supposed to hit the debit key on your register"

"Huh? Oh yeah . . . " (Hits debit key -- yes I was a checker in college for a time)

"Can I get 4 five dollar bills?" (Remember the 20 bucks I requested? I get 5's so I don't have to carry 20 dollars worth of change when I want a soda at work)

"What! It says 20 dollars!"

"Yes sir. Can I get 4 fives?"

"No. You have to get 20 dollars."

"Sir, count out the change for 4 fives. It's 20 dollars"

"Huh? No it's not. Look - 5, 10, 15, 20 - oh. Here." (I'd be willing to bet his register is a tad short at the end of his shift).

I hate grocery stores.